Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
