FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
