just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
