I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
