I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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