how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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