the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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