What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
