she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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