I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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