He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
