i love accidental penises.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
