i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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