I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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