I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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