Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
