what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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