dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
