I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
