I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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