There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
