His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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