He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
