i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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