You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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