and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So much rum. So many feels.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
