if you like me you must not know who I am
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I need water and some morals
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
