So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
