what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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