i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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