So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
