your thong is hanging out like whoa
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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