ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
