I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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