So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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