I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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