i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
