I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
