Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
How's work?
Spinning.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
