that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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