I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
