I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
