It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
More tranny stories later!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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