took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
