I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
