so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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