How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
