I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
