remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
