Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
