I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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